Out of necessity, most of our connections are now taking place online or by phone. We no longer have access to all the cues that give us information when we are present with someone - gestures, movement, body posture or facial expression if on the phone. Instead we are learning to expand our senses as we connect differently.

Having done lots of coaching sessions by phone over the years, I’ve found, through deep listening, I can attune to the energy of the other more closely without the distractions of the visuals. I’ve learned to use my body, mind and emotions to connect and feel resonance. More importantly I’ve learned to listen with my heart.

To listen with the heart is a literal experience. Instead of taking in thoughts and ideas with my mind only, listening with my heart is paying attention to the sensations the words are having in my body. These sensations carry a lot of wisdom.

To deepen connection over your devices you have to be aware of yourself first:

• Start by getting grounded in your body, attuning to yourself. Consciously focus your awareness on sensations in your body. What parts of your body are you aware of the most? What parts can’t you feel?

• Use your breath to relax into your body further. Make your exhalations longer than your inhalations to deepen relaxation in the body. As you deepen into relaxation notice again the sensations in your body.

• Using your body awareness, intend to connect with others through your heart. You body receives lots of information. When you interact with someone you’re constantly receiving signals from your body. You may feel your heart expand, or something feels right. Perhaps you’re aware of tingling in your body. With practice, you can feel a resonance as your energies connect - there’s a coherence that feels more alive when you’re in sync with another person.

Are you experiencing expanded senses and deepened connections over the internet or phone? What does resonance feel like for you?

How often do you look outside yourself to others for answers, validation and information? How often do you doubt your own knowing? Many of us have been conditioned to think we need to find our answers from others; that there is a perfect path to follow, or a better interpretation and that someone else knows the answer to our questions and longings better than we do. How many times have you been swayed by others’ opinions instead of trusting your own discernment? Perhaps you had a faint feeling the input was off, yet you followed it anyway, not trusting yourself, only to discover you were right and their input wasn’t the best for you. I know I have and I’ve become aware of how quick I was to give my power away.

I believe you already have everything you need inside you. If you are willing to sit in the stillness and quiet your mind, your questions can be answered. Listen to the still small voice within. Sometimes we don’t hear that voice right away. Try trusting that you received the answers anyway and pay attention to what shows up around you. The solution may seem to pop into your head or may stand out in a random conversation. You might even see a billboard or a license plate with your answer on it. You’ll know because there will be resonance when the answer shows up. You’ll feel it’s right. You may feel energy course through your body or feel more aliveness. With time you’ll learn to trust the messages and the synchronicity along with your body’s signals. Start slow and with questions that aren’t emotionally weighty. Trust yourself with small, inconsequential things first. With practice, you’ll begin to trust the process more each day, until it feels like second nature, much like eating or breathing.

This doesn’t mean we don’t find mentors, teachers or guides. Others can offer us guidance and insight. However, the best ones, empower us to find our own answers. If someone tells you they have all the answers, that’s a red flag. That’s the ego talking. A healthy mentor may share their perspective but will encourage you to discern for yourself. They will guide you without judgement. You might consult several people, spiral the answers through you and then ultimately decide for yourself from that place of stillness where the answers arise from within your soul. No one else is better equipped to know the answers for your life than you!

Are there ways you’re giving your power away? What would happen if you chose to look for your own answers by accessing the wisdom already within you?

One of the hardest lessons for me over the years has been to learn to surrender. For me surrendering doesn’t mean giving up, it means letting go. When I let go I can relax into the shifts around me which are key to discerning my next positive action.

I’d been conditioned to want to control things around me in my life. Trained as a lawyer, I operated under the illusion that I could control outcomes. My focus was from a place of fear about what could happen if I didn’t craft the perfect contract or take charge in many situations. Sure certain outcomes might be mitigated but one cannot control or foresee every possibility. Over time I learned to relax and not use pushing energy to try to manage what I felt needed to happen. By surrendering to the moment, I’m able to tap into my awareness and listen to my inner knowing. I get far more valuable information when I stay present and follow the clues in front of me. My heart informs my brain. I’ve discovered that’s way more powerful and effective than when I attempted to control outcomes. In fact events usually unfolded way better than I ever imagined! What is your experience of surrendering instead of controlling situations?

I’ve been experiencing more restlessness lately as I shelter in place. This spills over to my meditation practice. My practice is to allow my mind to relax into the sensation of “being” I’ve come to love when I meditate. I’ve learned these times are necessary for me. Meditation often provides clarity for my day as I listen to the messages from my soul. During many of my recent meditation sessions, I’ve found myself sitting in the stillness without getting many messages, impulses to do something, inspiration nor other sensations. The space feels flat and I must work to sit in the stillness. I sense that I’m sitting in the void, the nothingness. When I sit in this space I’ve learned to trust that movement will eventually come from this fertile space of gestation. I sit with my awareness. Eventually answers, ideas or impulses show up - it may take several days or weeks. Creativity begins to flow again. There’s much to be learned in having to surrender to sitting in the no-thing-ness and be patient. Much like life during COVID-19. I sit in the void wondering what life will be like afterwards, trusting my creative energy will flow and answers will come. I’m grateful to have the tool of meditation especially at this time. Does meditation help you?

Many of you may feel isolated. Know that you have the choice to stay connected even though you may be physically alone. You have to be creative and courageous to connect in other ways. This may mean you initiate a call or teach someone how to FaceTime or Zoom.

My daughter and I had a dinner date with my niece over Skype. We sat down together and caught up on our lives over our meal. I read about a woman playing her cello on her front porch, entertaining her neighbors from a safe distance each evening. Others have orchestrated “block parties” by assembling in their yards and driveways each evening to dance at a distance to a song someone blared from their house. People are becoming creative at connecting while distancing.

I’ve found my connections have gotten deeper as I’ve had more time to reach out to loved ones and old friends. Before I had to self distance, life seemed to get in the way with work, activities, parenting and other distractions. I lost touch with so many folks I cared about. Some connections were more surface level as I was acutely aware of the next demand tugging on me. During this time I’ve found I can slow down and get in touch with what really matters. The re-connections I’ve made in the last few weeks feel even richer and more intimate than before as our discussions focus more on what’s happening in our hearts.

As I shelter at home, I sense we are being taught a new way of Being. Since we’re all being forced to slow down (unless you are providing essential services), how can we learn from this precious time? I encourage you to go inward, listen to the whispers of your soul and find inspiration in the moment. When you sit in the stillness and breathe, you can be present to the moment and this in turn helps to calm your nervous system.

As we got out of balance on our planet in an effort to climb the economic ladder or to survive in the imbalance, we lost site of our inner knowing. Our inner knowing guides us to stay healthy and in balance with our environment so as to live from a dis-ease free place. We lost site of our interconnectedness and lived in the illusion of separation. When we slow down and go inward, through meditation, or contemplation, answers come. We hear our soul’s knowing and spiritual direction from whatever higher power you may believe in. I invite you to make use of this precious time. What are you doing with yours?

Here’s a powerful technique to work with fear. Sit still and focus on where fear is in your body - usually it’s in the gut or solar plexus, the area 2 inches above the navel at the base of your ribs. For those familiar with the energy system, fear is in the lower 3 chakras. Focus on breathing the energy of fear up to your heart. The emotion of fear will fall away and you’re left with pure power to direct through your heart, through your love. If you don’t feel the fear fall away, picture it in your mind’s eye sliding away and trust that it is. - Our mind and our intentions are powerful. We can choose to let it go and reclaim the power it held for more positive things. Try it and if you feel like it, let me know what you experience.

As I look at the big picture to find meaning in this Covid-19 challenge, I sense the world is being called to move from fear to love. The virus isn’t an enemy, fear is. While fear can be a great motivator, it can also be paralyzing. Fear creates darkness and the illusion of separation. It can control you by making you more easily manipulated into making poor decisions from those taking advantage of your fear. When you are in fear you make choices from cloudy thinking. You become reactive instead of responsive, willing to go along with half-baked ideas, usually perpetuating more fear. However, when you can slow down, even for a few minutes, take some deep breaths, and focus on your heart center, you can make clearer choices from a connection with your heart as well as from your head. You are able to get in touch with your inner knowing instead of looking for answers outside of you. You’ll find you’re able to more clearly see your choices allowing for healthy discernment. As you do, you’ll see more interconnections allowing for more light into your life as you experience the synergy of working together for the common good, and thus your own wellbeing. You can choose - will you choose to panic and swirl in chaotic thinking, fighting with fear? Or will you choose to connect with your heart center, get in touch with your inner knowing and recognize you are free?

As everyone around the globe is being urged to distance themselves, and commerce and gathering has slowed way down, we are learning about Oneness. We, as a planet are all in this together. Borders of countries don’t matter to the virus or to climate change for that matter. Borders are simply organizing principles for governing. They are arbitrary. The virus doesn’t care about class, wealth or race. This virus is forcing us to work together, ironically through the need to distance at the same time. Distancing is allowing for deeper connection and the flow of creativity as we problem solve. We are having to work together to save lives all over the world, even if it’s just staying home and Being. The speed of the Covid-19 spread is forcing us to collaborate for the good of the whole. We will have a new understanding of Oneness through our experiences. What are you learning about Oneness?

I have been contemplating how the Corona Virus is a metaphor for the illness of our planet right now, at the suggestion of my spiritual teacher Yvonne Christman. This virus has been letting us know we are out of balance. She explains that what happens to our physical bodies is a mirror of what is happening on our planet: “The planet’s body, respiratory and body temperature (global warming) systems are currently impaired. When Mother earth’s body is excessively disturbed, invaded or destroyed, so are our physical bodies.” We must remember that the entire Earth is our household. This virus is showing us that this is so, as it affects the entire globe. As we strive to bring our bodies back into balance what can we do to bring the planet and our lives back into balance? This will call for creative solutions and all of us working together.

Have you ever felt like you live your life by default? To live your life on purpose means to make conscious deliberate choices. You’re making a choice even when you don’t choose. Your life becomes acted upon by the circumstances around you when you choose not to choose. You run the risk of becoming numb as you get caught up in other people’s expectations for you when you don’t make conscious choices. Ask yourself if you’ve unplugged from life. What would your life be like if you choose to show up as the author and creator of your life? What steps could you take today to be proactive? Choose to be present; to show up and step into your greatness!

It means to live with passion, purpose and authenticity. It’s when you dare to bring your dreams and desires to fruition. Living heartfully means paying attention to what you long for deep in your heart and taking action from this place of inner knowing. Your heart knows what will bring purpose, joy and meaning to your life. Take time to sit quietly, take a few deep breaths and visualize connecting with your heart. See what messages it has for you today.